


Mischief with Mira

by Kiba_Lover23



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bosmer (Elder Scrolls), Daedra (Elder Scrolls), Drunkenness, F/M, Fist Fights, Kissing, Mages, Smut, Violence, Were-Creatures
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:54:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23976340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiba_Lover23/pseuds/Kiba_Lover23
Summary: Some of Mira's more silly adventures in Skyrim
Kudos: 3





	1. Introduction

This will be a place for me to put some of my favorite Not Dragonborn OC's shenanigans. None of which have a place in her main story, and are just fun. Most of these will be about NPCs that annoy me, but if there are any you'd like to see then do let me know.


	2. A Night to Remember.... Too bad I can't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mira has a drinking contest with Sam, who is more than he appears to be.

Mira strode into the Moorside inn of Morthal and frowned at the deep baritone grunts of Lurbuk 'singing.' Shaking her head the slim Bosmer ordered a bowl of stew and some bread from the innkeeper Jonna and sat as far away from the Orc 'bard' as possible. If she didn't need a break from the freezing muddy marshes in this hold she would have steered well clear of the inn just because of the Orc... Mira ate quickly, intending to get back on the road when a drunken man in black robes approached her, stumbling slightly before taking a seat across from her uninvited. Her eyes narrowed suspiciously at him

_"You look like someone who can hold their liquor. How about a friendly competition to win a staff?"_ The man slurred in a jovial voice.

 _"I don't even know who you are and I have no use for a staff. I'm not a mage, so go drink with someone else."_ Mira said coldly. She really wasn't comfortable with being approached by strangers. Years of travel had led to her belief that people in general were ignorant, violent, or just not worth her time. She was radiating waves of disinterest but the man seemed undeterred.

_"Why I'm Sam, Sam Guevenne. The staff doesn't need a mage to wield it, and this liquor is great stuff. I'm sure it could warm even your chilly heart. Please, at least try it?"_ Sam pulled a bottle from his robes and set it on the table between them, the alcohol inside was amber and seemed to swirl with subtle gold shimmer.... Or maybe that was just the bubbles? Either way it looked good, and Mira found herself strangely tempted. With a thoughtful look she held out an empty cup and Sam grinned as he poured a splash of liquor into it.

_"Excellent, now do be careful this is quite strong!"_ He looked surprised and pleased as Mira tossed back the drink easily, licking her lips with a smile. The taste was smooth and sweet with a pleasant bite to it. The mage poured himself a drink of his own and swallowed it just a little slower, then filled her glass again. They had nearly finished the bottle and Sam was looking a bit wobbly, but so was Mira. 

_"Your turn my friend..."_ He slurred slowly.

_"Another drink? Easy enough."_

 _"So says you... I think I've hit my limit on these. Tell you what, one more drink and you win."_ Mira gave him a big charming smile and tossed her glass back in a couple quick gulps. Placing it on the table with a stupid sounding giggle she leaned in and stage whispered to Sam,

_"Alright Sammy, where's the staff you promised? Don't tell me it's in your pants!"_ Sam laughed loudly, slapping the table and making the drowsy Bosmer jump. Mira glared at him and then burst into laughter herself, keeping it up until she couldn't breathe and Sam had to roughly pat her back.

_"Unfortunately no, it isn't. Actually we'll need to get some supplies to repair it.... It's sort of broken..."_ He muttered ruefully as he fiddled with his fingers and refused to make eye contact. Mira's eyes narrowed and her mouth opened and closed a few times as she tried to come up with an answer to that. Eventually she came up empty and just folded her arms across her chest with an annoyed pout. 

_"But I.... You said... Hmm... Fuck. Let's get the things then!"_ She shouted , standing quickly and tripping over the bench behind her immediately! The entire tavern erupted in laughter as she essentially folded herself in half as she rolled. Especially Lurbuk, who the slim wood elf snarled at loudly. The Orc flinched back not expecting a woman with such a sweet face to make a sound like that! He stepped out of her way as she strode toward the door with Sam hurrying to catch up. Mira snagged another customer's unopened bottle of mead as she walked out, ignoring the shout of protest. She uncorked the bottle and drank half of it while Sam watched with a grin, grumbling under her breath as some spilled down her chest.

_"So wha-hic... What do we need to fix the.... Thing? The sshtaafff?"_ Mira's normally refined, clear, and direct way of speaking went out the window when she had been drinking. Sam chuckled as the Bosmer woman swayed unsteadily on her feet before he answered. 

_"We need a giant's toe, hagraven feathers, and holy water, but that's not important right now. You're a fun person to drink with... I know this great little place where the wine flows like water, we should go there! Hey... You don't look so good."_ Mira heard the last half of his reply as if she was underwater, her vision swimming with spots. She took one step forward and then her feet tangled together and she fell into Sam's arms and passed out. The larger man plucked her from the floor, and the last thing Mira remembered was a flash of blue light and Sam's face changing as he carried her somewhere. Seemingly the next moment she was coming to in a misty grove of trees surrounded by other men and women drunk off their asses, and on a throne above the table was a tall daedra. 

_"Ah, finally awake my friend? Have another drink and then I'll send you out to spread mirth in Skyrim!"_ The Bosmer blinked slowly and stood up, happily grabbing another bottle of strong drink and then strutting over toward the daedra she now recognized as Sanguine. Grinning like the cat who got the cream, Mira plopped herself down in the prince's lap and took a few swallows of the brandy. Draping her arms around his neck she purred,

_"What if I want to stay here and spread something else?"_ Sanguine chuckled, half tempted by the woman's forward attitude.

_"Hahaha, Hircine was right, you are delightful. Go out and have some fun, when you've finished you will be welcome back in my realm. After that I'll consider your proposition"_ With that Sanguine opened a portal and pushed Mira through... For the second time that evening she found herself tangling her feet together and landing flat on the floor, this time in a breathless fit of giggles. Her audience was a small group of Hagravens, who cackled loudly at the small woman appearing in the midst of their grove. Mira scrambled to her feet still clutching the mostly empty bottle of alcohol that had splashed over her pants when she fell, and pulled a blade on the witches.

_"Look sisters, isn't she a cute little thing? Watch out pretty, you'll hurt yourself with that knife."_ One rasped in an ugly voice as Mira whirled, she hated being called cute and little by most people. Of course the effect of her irritated growl was lessened by her hair falling in front of her face as she stumbled. She tried to blow it away and failed miserably, then reached out to push it off her face and thunked the bottle into her forehead. Her antics amused the witches enough that all of them decided to make the elf welcome among them... Instead of killing the trespasser as they normally would. Mira watched in wary confusion as the old women gathered around and offered her food and a place to sit, one running a taloned hand through her thick silver hair,

_"She is soft too. What a lovely girl."_ The crone simpered at her. Mira's eyes widened, she could swear the crone was flirting! How odd... Drunker than she'd ever been before the assassin found herself responding kindly before she even knew the words were passing her lips. She couldn't stop and didn't really care to either.

_"You have very purrrtty feathers, I wish I had feathers... I-hic only have fur..."_ She sighed sadly, and then suddenly brightened up, _"Wanna see a party trick?! L-look what I can do!"_ Before she could rethink how monumentally stupid it was Mira tried to shift forms.... Only it didn't work, she was too drunk to manage... The elf succeeded only in turning her face an alarming shade of pink as she tried, and a pair of soft white ears and a short tail sprouted. Of course the tail was trapped uncomfortably in her pants and Mira whimpered and then sobbed dramatically as she turned, trying to get a peek at her tail. Eventually she tripped again and fell face first into the dirt, choosing to stay there this time.

_"Oh you poor dear, let me help you."_ One of the witches cut a hole in the back of her leather leggings and pulled the tail through. Mira hummed in relief and mumbled something into the dirt. It took her a minute or two to work up the motivation to stand up, and in the meantime her black banded tail waved slowly and her round cat ears twitched as her hair tickled them. Eventually she dragged herself off the ground and hugged the Hagraven tightly,

_"Marry me you beautiful creature! I never would have thought of that.... I feel so much better!"_ The old woman hugged her back in surprise and leaned back to look at her face and found Mira looking into her eyes with complete seriousness. There was no way the crone could deny such a proposal, after all how many opportunities would she get to call a lovely creature like the wood elf her own? Not many she would guess!

_"Really? Yes, of course I'll marry you! We will have the ceremony tomorrow at Morvunskar. You must go and get the rings, I cannot for obvious reasons."_ She gestured to her taloned hands and feet and Mira nodded solemnly. She spun in a couple of slow circles to get her bearings and then spotted her short tail and began chasing it with a giggle, stopping when she stumbled again. Muttering _'rings,rings...'_ under her breath Mira turned toward Whiterun and started jogging with her tail swishing cutely. The Hagravens watched her go with amused expressions and then turned to their lucky sister and began chattering about how they would prepare for the wedding. The sound of their conversation faded out quickly thanks to the thick fog and trees. An hour or so later Mira pushed past the gates of Whiterun and jogged up to Bannered Mare to find Ysolda.

_"Ysh-olda! I'm getting hic... MARRIED!!! I need rings, do ya have a couple?"_ The young Nord merchant yelped in surprise as Mira grabbed her shoulders tightly and yelled. She carefully pried the elf's fingers off her skin and took a deep breath. Dealing with excitable drunks would be a good test of a merchants skills. So Ysolda listened as Mira told a disjointed but sweet tale of meeting her 'lovely' bride-to-be in Witchmist Grove, and how the wedding was the next day, so she needed the rings to make it official. Ysolda's heart melted at the sweet story and sold her a pair of gold bands on credit. With the rings in hand and a black Hagraven feather tucked behind her ear Mira trotted back out of the tavern and ran straight into another portal.

_"Whoa... Where'm I at now?"_ She mumbled, looking around at the dark farmland of the small village. Then she heard a man speaking in a sweet voice to someone nearby, and walked toward the sound. Whoever he was talking to was a lucky lady.... Or goat! Mira had come across Ennis whispering the praises of his prized goat Gleda.... 'Weird....' She thought silently and then waited until the enamored man trudged off to his shack, leaving Gleda alone in her pen. After hearing the door latch she went into the field and picked up the goat, which let out a panicked bleat and had Ennis running back outside!

_"Who's out there!? Don't you touch my Gleda!"_

_"Oh shit! Bye weird farmer, I'm taking your goat, I need her to get a giant's toe and get married!"_ Mira held Gleda above her head and bolted out into the tundra, yelling something about Whiterun just before she was out of earshot. Even drunk off her ass, the were-cat was much faster than the poor distressed Redguard could hope to be and she outpaced him long before he even reached the edge of the village. Ennis stopped running, leaning forward with his hands braced on his knees and wheezed. He had no idea what to make of what had just happened... A stranger had stolen his goat because she needed a giant's toe to get married??? How did that even make sense?! The short answer was that it didn't, but there was nothing to be done about it now, he would never catch the swift little drunk! He returned to his little house for a sleepless night, tomorrow he would search for his poor Gleda and hope she survived the night.

Up ahead Mira had reached the edge of a giant camp and heard thunderous snores. It seemed that everybody was drinking tonight, because the giant was clutching a large, crude, clay jar in his hairy hand. Sprawled out in the dirt he was deeply asleep. That was perfect! Mira scrawled a note on a spare scrap of parchment and stuck it on the goat's horn, explaining she had left the goat as payment for his toe.... Not that the giant could read, or be anywhere near alright with her stealing his extremities.... Making quick work of it with her sword, she took the little toe from his left foot and stuck it in her satchel. The giant bellowed in pain but for some reason, never fully woke up. Mira slunk quietly into the shadows outside the camp and made a speedy escape, running toward Markarth and the Temple of Dibella. She should he able to get holy water there, and maybe flirt with the pretty priestesses! 

The climb up to the temple was a steep one and difficult to manage when Mira's legs felt like jelly, but she made it eventually. She slammed the doors open and strolled inside with a loud cheer. The priestess Senna looked up and heaved a heavy sigh, yet another drunk wandering in to harass the sisters... She stood up and prepared to drag the Bosmer back outside and lock her out with threats to call the guards if she came back. Mira saw the woman coming with an angry look in her eye and quickly dodged every attempt to grab her. 

_"Get over here, you slippery elf! Hold still!"_ Mira was still oddly graceful even while she felt like the world was spinning, she bent and twisted out of the way every time Senna got close, knocking over the furniture and throwing small objects at the priestess to keep her away. Within five minutes Mira had trashed just about every inch of the Temple foyer. Both Senna and Mira were panting breathlessly when the sister finally managed to catch the elf. Her victory was shortlived though, Mira sank to the floor at almost the same moment that Senna caught her upper arm in a tight grip. The wood elf started snoring seconds later and would not wake up no matter how hard Senna tried. Twenty minutes of vigorous shaking and yelling later and she gave up, leaving Mira laying on the tile and locking the door further into the temple behind her. They would deal with the elf and her mess in the morning.

_"Wake up! That's right, it's time to wake up drunken blasphemer!"_ Mira groaned and curled up on her side at the feel of a booted foot roughly prodding her ribs, and when the woman didn't stop kicking at her the wood elf snarled and caught her ankle in a vice like grip. The priestesses voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard to her and Mira had never taken well to being kicked even when sober.

_"What the hell do you mean 'blasphemer' ?"_ Mira snapped as she sat up carefully, cradling her aching head between her hands. Senna huffed angrily at her and answered,

_"I see. I take it that means you don't remember fondling the statuary last night?"_

 _"No, I don't remember anything past drinking with some mage in Morthal... Yesterday probably. Was there a man named Sam involved in any of this?"_ She asked as she stood up unsteadily. Looking around the room Mira had fuzzy memories of throwing things and quite possibly trying to punch Senna... This just wouldn't end well, and that idea was cemented by the sister glaring stonily back at her with her arms crossed.

_"I'm sorry I really don't remember how I got here, help me out?"_ Hungover and smelling like she swam in a vat of mead, Mira was still a pretty good actress and she put on her most charming and apologetic smile, with her hands clasped in front of herself pleadingly. She could see Senna's grouchy facade crumbling almost as quickly as it had appeared and wanted to cheer, but restrained herself. 

_"You were pretty deep in your cups by the time you made it here, mostly incoherent mumbles... But you mentioned something about goats and Rorikstead. You should check there... Now if you'll excuse me I have a mess to clean."_ Senna began bustling around the temple entryway picking up random objects and Mira took that as her cue to leave. Heading out the front door to the city gates, Mira walked northeast to Rorikstead on Senna's advice. If it weren't for the headache and nausea it would have been a nice walk. A couple of hours later the village came into view and immediately Ennis ran up and began berating her for... Something...

_"You! You've got a lot of nerve showing yourself in this town again. What do you have to say for yourself?"_ Ennis yelled loudly. Mira winced and took a step forward, clamping a small hand over the angry Redguard's mouth. Her head still hurt and she was obviously getting tired of being shouted at. The farmer's eyes went wide and he yanked himself away from the aggravated woman.

_"Before you start screeching again, I have no idea what you're talking about."_ Mira growled softly, but apparently that wasn't enough for Ennis because he began hissing angrily the second she fell silent

 _"Is that so? Does the name Gleda ring a bell? The star beauty of my farm? Kidnapped by a drunk and sold to a Giant? You'd better remember her right fast, before I call the guards and have you hauled away."_ She rubbed at her temples irritably... What in Oblivion had she been drinking last night?! Because she would like to avoid touching the stuff ever again... Mira vaguely remembered a giant's camp and some blood on her cheek. That must have been what the farmer meant. Gleda was a........ Goat? Yes, that was right. 

_"Tell me everything and you won't end up like your goat."_ She snarled, extremely tired of people getting snippy and disrespectful. Ennis took a couple of big steps back as Mira stalked toward him, looking terrified of the small woman. Not that anyone would blame him, she was radiating anger and impatience... 

_"Okay, okay. Most of what you said didn't make sense but you left a note. The only bit that I could read said 'after repaying Ysolda in Whiterun.' That's all I know, I swear!"_ The Bosmer stopped, her whole demeanor shifting from cold rage to satisfaction as she straightened up and smiled.

_"There, was that so hard? I'm off to Whiterun, good luck with the whole goat thing!"_ Mira waved cheerfully and began running southeast through the plains and hills to the central hold. Ysolda stood in the marketplace with a pleasant if slightly strained smile for Mira as she walked up.

_""So, you're finally back. Look, I've been patient, but you still owe me."_

 _"Yeah, I've been getting that a lot. Just tell me what I owe you, I have things to do."_ Mira grumbled in a tired voice. Ysolda looked at her with more pity than she had gotten from anyone else on this miserable venture. What had she done that had the merchant feeling so sorry for her? One way to find out...

_"Aw, what's wrong? Did the engagement fall through? Look, how about we call it even, as long as you bring back the wedding ring? That's really a shame - I was so looking forward to the wedding. You said you'd have all the most interesting guests."_

_"No, it didn't fall through... I just don't remember where it is. Can you tell me please?"_ She had no idea what engagement Ysolda meant, but going along with it seemed the simplest path. The assassin wanted this whole disaster to be over with, and she also wanted to strangle Sam if she ever saw him again.

 _"You must have had a wild night if you can't remember that. But I suppose everyone gets the jitters before their wedding. And I did say you could take a bit of time paying me back. You said the ceremony was going to be at Morvunskar. Don't forget..."_ Ysolda replied with a smile. Mira thanked her quietly and took off again. Outside of Whiterun Mira hired Bjorlam's carriage to take her as far as Eastmarch, she could find Morvunskar on her own after that. She wasn't dressed warmly enough for this stupid frozen hold at all, but Mira would just put up with being cold until she got into the fortress... Which was full of mages and she groaned loudly. After everything she had done in the last day and a half the last thing she wanted was to battle her way through a bunch of spell slinging dicks! 

She stood in the shadow of a large rock formation to think about how to deal with the situation. For all she knew the mages were here for the "wedding" and wouldn't attack the bride showing up to her own ceremony. With another sigh Mira stepped out of the shadows and walked toward the old fort, only to have to dive back into cover as one of the mages started shouting about intruders and fired ice spikes at her head. Apparently she was **not** welcome here! Growling angrily, Mira shifted forms and barreled into the group of mages, slashing with her claws, biting viciously, and using her huge head like a battering ram. The few men and women outside were easily taken care of, and then she stalked inside silently. There were two more people in a forge room off to her right, but Mira wasn't interested in killing everyone here. She just wanted to be done. 

After sneaking through the rest of the old building, avoiding every fight she could, Mira reached the deepest chamber and realized this time she would need to attack the people here. Taking a deep breath, she hunched through the entrance to the room and let out an ear splitting roar as she straightened up to her full height. One or two of the mages scrambled to get past her and run from the fort as fast as their legs would carry them! The leader however turned and summoned a frost atronach and began blasting her with frostbite and ice spikes. Mira ignored the summoned creature and dodged the most lethally aimed spells, still taking a couple of spikes before she got to her target. Once she was close she swatted the mage's puny steel dagger out of his hand and chomped his head between her sabre like fangs! None of the other mages in the room wanted to meet the same fate and they ran too.

_"Fuck that was annoying.... Ow."_ Mira growled in a deep voice as she sat down to rest and yanked the embedded spikes out of her hide. While she was catching her breath a bright blue swirling portal opened up and her ears pricked with interest. That looked familiar, she had seen a few of those the night before... Or at least she thought she had, nothing was certain at the moment.

_"Well I guess that's where I'm going. Hopefully this is the last stop."_ Mira groaned wearily and stood up. Her transformation chose that moment to give out and left Mira standing in the freezing cold fort naked. Throwing her hands up in irritation she stomped over to one of the mages she had slammed into a wall, leaving her robes reasonably free of blood and pulled the over long garment on. It didn't fit right at all, being taken from a Nord woman, but it was better than being nude. Mira strode back up the stairs and walked through the portal, finding herself in a misty grove with a stream running through it that seemed to be flowing with wine instead of water. She followed the path toward the sounds of chatter and music.

_"You're here! I was beginning to think you might not make it."_ Sam shouted from a seat above the table filled with boisterous drunks. Mira glared irritably at the enthusiastic man and walked over with a fake smile baring her teeth but leaving her eyes cold and angry.

_"It was quite a trip. Where are we?"_

 _"I thought you might not remember your first trip here. You had a big night. I think you've definitely earned the staff."_ Sam said with a grin, ignoring the Bosmer's obvious displeasure with him. A mortal's bad temper meant nothing to a daedric prince! Mira sighed in resignation, there was no point in exhausting herself anymore by being angry with this ridiculous man.

"I _have all the things needed to repair it. Or I did earlier."_ She groaned quietly as she realized that would all be outside with her discarded armor... God's damn it, she should have just killed the mages with blades...

 _"Oh, the Hagraven feather and so on. You can throw all those out. You see... I really just needed something to encourage you to go out into the world and spread merriment. And you did just that! I haven't been so entertained in at least a hundred years."_ Sam crowed loudly and began laughing. Mira frowned with slight confusion, what the hell was that supposed to mean? Sam was definitely nowhere near a hundred years old so... He must be more than just some strange human.

_"So all of this was just a prank?"_

_"Just a prank? Just a prank? The Daedric Lord of Debauchery does not deal in mere 'pranks'. This may have begun as a minor amusement, but it wasn't long before I realized you'd make a more interesting bearer of my not-quite-holy staff."_ Sam sounded rather offended by her dismissive wording, but Mira was focused more on the "daedric lord of debauchery" part of his little speech! 

_"Sanguine? Why didn't you just tell me that in the first place?"_ She asked loudly, quickly losing her temper again. Honestly if he had told her she might have gone along with his pranks while sober! She was already a daedra worshipper and enjoyed a good practical joke as much as the next person. It wasn't as if she would have turned her nose up at a bit of fun... Legal or otherwise, she was an assassin for Gods' sake!

 _"I **am** Sanguine, Daedric Prince of Debauchery! I know, I know, how could I lie to you? Well, how could I trust you until we've shared a few drinks? You've proven to be quite deserving of my favor. It's too bad Hircine has already claimed you, I would love to have you as an acolyte." _Sanguine slurred happily, enjoying the surprised and frankly indignant recognition from the small woman. Mira wasn't very impressed with him at this point, but at least she had earned the staff. 

_"Thanks, I guess. What does the thing even do?"_ She asked as the much taller male handed her a rough hewn staff covered in thorns with a fully bloomed rose on the end. A very... pretty artifact but knowing daedra it might be useless, or worse yet, an outright danger to the wielder.

 _"My pleasure. But I think it's time for you to go. No fun keeping you locked up in here with the staff. You'll have to find that out by trying it, bye!"_ With a wave of his hand Sanguine banished Mira from his realm and sent her back to.... Fucking Morthal! Mira was back at the tavern where it all began, listening to Lurbuk grunting out 'songs' halfway across the country from where she had left her hand crafted weapons and armor! She stood in the inn wearing ill fitting robes taken from a corpse, carrying no coin, and with no weapons but an unfamiliar staff. 

_"Gods fucking damn the DAEDRA!!! Fine.... may as well go see what this stupid thing does..."_ Mira trudged outside and away from the close minded villagers of Morthal to test her new toy. She aimed the staff at the ground a few yards away and activated it. In a very familiar blue flash, a dremora appeared and bowed to the perplexed wood elf. All that drama, running all over the country, and a hangover from hell and she ended the adventure with a dremora butler!!! 

_"What can I do for you mistress?"_ The dark skinned male asked her, sounding concerned and attentive. Ready to do her bidding apparently, whatever she might ask. 

_"Remind me **never** to drink with strange men again! Seriously, from now on just appear and slap the shit out of me if I seem like I'm going to..."_

 _"It will be done mistress."_ The dremora said in a solemn tone, bowing again and disappearing with another flash of light. Mira wandered back to the inn and begged Jonna to let her stay, promising that she would pay the innkeeper double the usual rate as soon as she retrieved her gear from Windhelm. Jonna eventually relented because Mira looked so ragged. The Bosmer fell into her bed fully dressed and was out in seconds, still clutching her hard won prize.

    ****
    


	3. Caught Red-handed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mira is a Dibella worshipper too, but she really doesn't like Haelga and her home wrecking ways. So she helps Svana get a little leverage on her aunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has s couple of sex scenes in it with Marcurio and Hofgrir, just to let you know. Feel free to skip over those. They are marked by stars before and after the steamy bits.

Haelga's Bunkhouse is.... Not Mira's favorite place to be but the Bee and Barb was full, and she didn't feel like walking all the way to her cabin at the edge of the Rift. Not in the pouring rainstorm currently raging outside. The Nord woman was stubbornly refusing to let her stay and Mira was quickly losing patience... With an irritated groan she turned and walked away muttering,

_"Fine, maybe one of the men in the tavern will share a bed with me.... Marcurio maybe?"_ She strode over to the door and walked out, standing in the covered entryway and watching the rain falling for a couple of minutes. The door opened behind her and Mira glanced over her shoulder to see Svana slipping out to stand beside her. The young woman leaned her broom against the wall and just stared at the smaller woman for a few minutes, seeming to work up the nerve to talk.

_"I'm sorry about how rude my aunt was, she's always like that. Do you know she's slept with three different men in the last month alone? What kind of woman would do such a thing? Just for once, I'd like to see her squirm... to rub her nose in it. Bolli and Indaryn have wives!"_ Svana said, sounding disgusted. Mira resisted the urge to roll her eyes at that, neglecting to tell the Nord that she might do just that. But at least those men wouldn't be married... It would be satisfying to take Haelga down a notch or two. The adulterous woman gave other Dibellans a bad name...

_"Not your fault Svana. I'm guessing you have a plan since you bothered to come out and mention all this to me? Let's hear it."_ Svana nodded with a bit of excitement and the two women chatted quietly about Haelga's affairs with various men around the hold. Mira couldn't really fault her for bedding Hofgrir, he was single, but the other two were married and should be keeping their cocks in their pants for anyone who wasn't their wives... Svana asked Mira to get the "Marks of Dibella" off the three men. She agreed to at least try, she wasn't much of a thief. The younger woman was perfectly happy, that was all she could ask for. She nervously made sure that the elf wouldn't kill anyone, Skyrim was a rough land and it always paid to be very clear about your intent. 

_"I'll figure out how to get the marks tomorrow. If I'm successful I'll be back tomorrow night."_ Svana nodded again and walked back into the bunkhouse. Mira pulled her hood up and crossed the small bridge back over to the tavern. Instead of going straight to Marcurio to flirt and see if she could share his bed, she walked over to the bar and ordered a sweet roll to snack on. Climbing onto a stool and leaning against the bar, Mira watched Maramal preaching at the other customers until Talen-jei kicked him out for disturbing everyone. Keerava brought her the pastry and Mira thanked her before leaning in close to ask her to do one more thing.

_"Would you send Marcurio a drink from me? Whatever he usually orders is fine, just tell him it's a drink to his good health."_ Keerava nodded and waved Talen-jei over to make one of his specialty drinks. The Argonian man quickly put together a velvet lachance and walked over to the mage sitting on a bench by the door. Mira was casually nibbling on her treat as Marcurio took the drink with a curious expression and then looked at her with surprised interest. The Imperial studied her closely, looking at her curves and and sweet smile, so Mira put on a little bit of a show.... Talen-jei handed the drink to Marcurio with a small smile, the Imperial took the glass easily enough but gave the barman a raised brow as he did. He hadn't ordered anything, and these drinks were expensive... Was there a mixup?

_"Compliments of the young lady at the bar, she says it's a drink to your continuing good health."_ Marcurio followed his gaze to the wood elf at the bar, a slim woman with long silver hair and a nice figure. While he watched she gave him a little wink and bit into her sweet roll, a bit of the icing falling off the dessert and landing on the swell of her breast. She frowned slightly and swiped up the sugary frosting and popped her finger in her mouth. Marcurio's eyes widened at the sight of her tongue curling around her long fingers. Then the Bosmer seemed to realize the image she had just made of herself and blushed, but smiled brightly at him anyway. The mage lifted his drink in a salute to her and enjoyed it while he thought over approaching the pretty woman. What was there to lose really? She was obviously interested in his company at the least.... Throwing caution to the wind he walked over to join her at the bar.

_"Hello there miss, I'm Marcurio. Thanks for the drink."_ He said with a charming smile that Mira returned. Now that he was close Marcurio was surprised by how beautiful her vibrant green eyes looked, and those full lips parted in a smile was a nice sight. Though... her teeth looked dangerously sharp... a little intimidating, but not enough to discourage him. 

_"Mira, but I know who you are handsome. I'm a local, I just don't spend much time in the city. It's a pleasure to officially meet you though."_ Marcurio thought that must be true, because if she was here often then he certainly would have remembered! The pair spent an hour or two chatting about the area, and Mira allowed him to do most of the talking, she didn't mind listening to his lightly accented voice. As the time passed she subtly moved closer to him, and occasionally touched him as she told stories or complimented one of his. The mage was very much enjoying the intelligent conversation and hadn't even noticed her creeping closer until she was brushing softly against him with every movement. He smirked the moment he realized it, and then Mira was leaning in closer and he smelled exotic flowers. Gods she smelled good... and she was talking to him!

_".... really enjoy your company, I was thinking we could go upstairs and I could show you just how much I appreciate an intelligent man like yourself."_ Her fingers trailed slowly over the top of his thigh, moving further toward the inside as she got closer to his hip, then Marcurio pulled in a shuddering gasp as her tongue slid hotly over the edge of his ear. With a hard swallow and a little shiver he pulled back to look at her and found her giving him the hungriest look he had seen in ages. The expression was somewhat frightening, but Marcurio found himself more aroused than scared. His smirk widened as he bent down to answer her.

****************************

_"I think I'd like that very much. Let's go..."_ Mira took his offered hand and followed him up the stairs with a giggle. Marcurio opened the door to his room and then closed it behind them. Before he could even lock it Mira was pressing him back against it and pulling him down to give him a few teasing kisses down his jaw and neck, her hands marking the path her mouth followed until she was on her knees in front of him. The mage groaned as her hands pushed his robes up out of her way and dragged them over his head to help her. She smiled up at him and made quick work of his belt, exposing a perfectly fine dick. Marcurio's head fell back against the door with a thud as the Bosmer licked slowly up his shaft. He let her work for a few minutes, marveling at the ease she took him with and the way she used her tongue. There was a small thrill of danger as he felt her teeth grazing his skin in featherlight touches. She was building him up to climax quickly, and Marcurio made her stop, he wanted more than her mouth. So he pulled her gently to her feet and pushed her back into his bed. Mira gave him a night to remember, and got exactly what she wanted out of the deal.... A bed for the night, the fun was just a bonus.

*********************************

By the time the Imperial woke the next morning Mira had dressed and left long before. Sitting on his bedside table was a small note thanking him for a pleasant evening, Marcurio let out a little sigh, to be honest he had hoped to go another round before she left.... Ah well, some other time maybe. He would certainly keep an eye out for the silver haired beauty in the future. Meanwhile Mira was sitting out on the docks with her bare feet in the lake, watching Bolli directing his workers. She was working out how to approach him and get the mark. Should she seduce him and take it or scare the shit out of him until he handed it over...? Hmmmm... Ah, he was heading into the warehouse where either strategy would work more easily. Fewer prying eyes... For once Mira wished she was a good pickpocket, this would be so much simpler that way. No matter, other skills would get the job done too. Following Bolli inside Mira called out to him .

_"Excuse me, Bolli darling? I wonder if you can help me with something? Haelga said you were quite fun and I'd love to see for myself..."_ Instead of her usual dark leather and fur armor Mira wore a deep blue low cut dress and corset. She stepped out of the shadowed doorway and watched Bolli's face go slack with surprise and desire. He was clearly tempted to take her up on the proposition, but something else crossed his face too and he shook his head slowly.

_"No, Haelga and I have an arrangement. I'm sure you would be a pleasure to bed, but I'm not interested. Find another amusement."_ Mira hummed softly and shrugged continuing to strut toward him and the Nord looked annoyed, about to open his mouth and tell her more firmly to go elsewhere, then her next action shut him up. She got right up into his face, sliding her hands up his chest and then hooked her fingers into the neck of his tunic and yanked him down to her level.

_"What a shame. We could have done this a more pleasant way, but now... I'm going to have to make this rough on you. Somewhere in your pockets is a pretty blue stone from Haelga, you are going to give it to me."_ Bolli tried to pull away from her, shaking his head angrily and about to start yelling for the guard when Mira back handed him in the mouth! The big Nord yelped in shock and pain, glaring down at Mira and then looking a little scared at her mood.

_"I'll give you one chance to behave and hand over the gem. If I have to start digging through your clothes you're going to wish you'd cooperated."_ To make her point crystal clear, Mira dug her thumb into the flesh just below his collarbone. Bolli's eyes went comically wide at the feeling of sharp pain spreading widely across his chest, but he still stubbornly shook his head. Mira rolled her eyes, damned pigheaded man. If he wanted to play it that way then she would win the game by causing him some real pain. With that thought she grabbed his right hand and began bending his fingers in the wrong direction, first just a little, then a lot more. Bolli still resisted, and she sighed. He really should give in... Shoving him to sit on a rickety crate she pulled out a small blade and began trailing it over his bare skin with a thoughtful look. Tapping the needle sharp point against his cheek she asked just one more time,

_"The stone...? Now. Is your arrangement with Haelga really worth bleeding for?"_ A bead of blood formed and ran down her knife as she pressed a little harder and Bolli hissed in pain. He tried to lean his head away and Mira's free hand shot out to grab his hair and keep him still. The fisherman looked up at her and realized that he was outmatched, all he could see on her face was calm patience. He realized that this woman was casually threatening his well-being and that if she didn't get what she came for, she may well lose that patience and kill him to get the mark. Of course Svana had asked her not to kill anyone, but he didn't know that.

_"Alright, alright! You can have it. It's in my satchel, can I get it myself?"_

_"Feel free, I already said I didn't want to dig through your pockets. Actually I'm going to very thoroughly wash my hands after this... Who knows what nasty thing you've caught from Haelga."_ Bolli sneered at her comment, but reached into his satchel and pulled out a large blue gemstone. Dropping it into the wood elf's palm with an angry look. True to her word Mira released him and walked over to the water in the warehouse to wash her hands, then she turned and left the building without giving him a single glance. When she was gone he sank further back onto the crate she'd pushed him onto, adjusting his shirt with a sigh. Bolli had no idea what all that had been about, but he hoped Haelga hadn't gotten into trouble, and that the elf wouldn't come back!

Next up was Indaryn and Mira knew the man was a grouch, likely to be uncooperative and unpleasant no matter what approach she used. So she would just be blunt, come right out and tell him 'give me the stone or get a beating.' She honestly would have preferred to pick his pockets and walk away but that wouldn't work. She entered the meadery and smiled softly at Ungrien standing behind the counter. He was cute, and she always felt a little sorry for the nervous Bosmer man. He was often slipping up in his job here and getting into trouble. Ungrien returned her smile with surprise and a small blush. When Mira asked to see Indaryn he directed her upstairs and she walked away after thanking him for his time. The wood elf grinned, that little interaction would probably be the high point of his day, a lovely woman of his own kind coming in and being sweet and grateful to him... On the second floor Mira knocked firmly on the Dunmer's door and he snapped at her to hurry up and come in. Mira frowned at his tone and pushed through the door.

_"I'm going to make this quick, give me the mark of Dibella you got from Haelga, or I'll knock you out and take it."_

_"Ha, I don't know who you are and I don't care, but that isn't going to happen. Get out."_ Indaryn stood up aggressively and pointed back out his open door. When Mira only took a few steps toward him, he threw up his hands in resignation and walked over to throw a punch. The assassin laughed at his poor attempt, ducking easily. Then he took her by surprise with a cheap shot to the jaw... Mira shook off the pain and countered with three rapid strikes to his body, knocking Indaryn back and hitting him a fourth time right under the chin. She watched as his eyes rolled back and she caught him before he could hit his head on his desk. Digging through the pockets of his heavy robes, she found the mark with some difficulty and strolled back out of the meadery whistling a tune. Ungrien waved cheerfully and wished her a pleasant afternoon, blushing brightly when she turned back and blew him a kiss.

After a quick break for lunch Mira left the city gates and contemplated which approach she would use on Hofgrir. She had always liked the gruff stable master, and was sympathetic to his pain over injuring that young horse years earlier. Honestly the title Horse-crusher was pretty cruel... Besides all that she had always had a thing for much larger men, and Hofgrir definitely fit that bill. Deciding to go with the route that would be most fun for them both Mira walked over to the stables to talk. Unfortunately with her beast blood many horses became skittish or aggressive toward her... As she approached the stalls a few mares began shying away from her and the commotion caught the attention of Hofgrir's stallion who charged the small woman with the intent of protecting his little herd! Hofgrir looked up at the sound of pounding hooves and someone shouting and darted after his horse to save the slim young woman he was about to attack! The Nord caught the angry animal by his halter and forced him to halt. After he led the stallion back to the stable and tied him there he returned and helped Mira up,

_"Are you alright lass? I'm sorry about that, the old stud has never acted that way before..."_ Mira looked up at him with a genuinely grateful smile. She could have handled the horse, but she didn't want to hurt him. Besides it gave her a very good opportunity to be close to Hofgrir. Brushing dirt and leaves from her dress she nodded with a well faked tremble.

_"I'm fine thanks to you, I'm not really surprised... Horses have never liked me much, which is a shame because I adore them."_ She sighed quietly looking over toward his animals with a wistful expression. That much was actually true, she did love horses but they had been afraid of her ever since she had gotten the beast blood. Now that things had calmed down Hofgrir seemed to finally notice just how Mira was dressed, the form fitting dress enhancing how tiny her waist looked, and her breasts fully on display. He licked his lips slowly as the image of her out of the dress came to mind, a very pretty picture to be sure. Mira followed his gaze with a knowing smirk, men made things so easy... Flash a bit of skin and play the damsel in distress and many of them just couldn't resist. It seemed Hofgrir was already hooked if him nearly drooling was any indication. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and laughed a little,

_"Well I'd still like to make it up to you. I was just about to take my afternoon break, join me inside for a drink?"_ The poor man looked quite hopeful and Mira felt a bit bad about deceiving him like this but she had a job to do so she smiled and nodded gratefully. She allowed him to take her hand and lead her over to his little house, ordering Shadr to take over the chores for a bit. Inside he allowed the woman to make herself comfortable, offering her some mead which she turned down in favor of a bit of water. Hofgrir handed her a cool glass and shivered slightly as her soft fingers brushed over his work roughened knuckles. Mira's touch felt like warm silk caressing his skin and quickly filled his head with thoughts of how soft the rest of her must be. She supplied him with even more fuel for the fire by leaning her elbows on the table as she sat forward and asked him a question he didn't hear because he was too focused on her breasts pushing together and looking ready to slip out of her dress.

_"You know I think I will take something a little stronger. I still feel a little shaken."_ Hofgrir nodded with understanding, picking up a bottle of spiced wine and giving her a good amount. It didn't take very long for Mira to feel a pleasant warmth settling in and she feigned the strong drink going to her head more than it truly had, though she refrained from being sloppy about it. Instead she got up and walked over to Hofgrir's side of the table. Standing behind his chair and sliding her hands over his shoulders, her hands skimming over the bare skin of his neck and upper chest made him hum in pleasure as she leaned down to whisper something suggestively to him, 

***********************

_"I feel like I should do more to thank you for saving me Hofgrir..."_ She trailed off as one hand pushed further under his shirt and the other wrapped lightly over his throat to tilt his head to the side. When he allowed this, Mira began kissing him slowly. He groaned deeply as she sucked a small mark into his skin, and then stood up to pull her against him. Hofgrir bent down and claimed her mouth in a passionate kiss that made Mira weak in the knees, but she was here for something specific and she couldn't afford to forget it. So she ran her hands slowly up his thighs, subtly testing to see if the stone she was after was in his pockets. As she kneaded at the muscles he groaned again and she smiled as she felt what she was looking for. Mira continued the pleasant massage as if she was heading for his groin when she was really pushing the contents of his pockets up and out. A few coins clattered on the floor as the stone dropped into her palm. Hofgrir was about to pull away and pick up the mess and then Mira's free hand settled over his dick with a little squeeze and he immediately forgot about the money on the floor.

While he was distracted by her touch Mira dropped the final Mark of Dibella into her coin pouch. The job was done so she could easily just return to Svana and hand them over, but she was actually enjoying this. Svana would have to wait until Mira had her fun! Suddenly Hofgrir picked her up off the floor and carried her over to his bed. Setting her on the furs he stripped his tunic off and grinned at her,

_"Hands and knees lass, I want to see that pretty ass."_ He spoke in a rough growl and Mira smirked, standing up slowly and unlacing her corset to let the dress fall. As soon as it hit the floor she was back on the bed wiggling her hips at him invitingly. The Nord gave her a little swat and laughed at her soft whimper. He climbed onto the bed behind her and pulled her hips back against him to rut against her ass with a deep groan. One hand reaching down to push his fingers into her slit while the other worked his pants off his hips to free his cock. Mira moaned and arched her back to give him more room to work as he leaned down and kissed the side of her neck. Hofgrir pressed his thumb to her clit as he slowly pushed into her with a growl, reveling in Mira's shaky gasp at being filled so suddenly. 

_"Gods that's good! Mmm..."_ He gave her rime to adjust when she whimpered 'big...' under her breath, feeling a rush of masculine pride. Hofgrir waited until Mira was squirming impatiently and pushing back against him to move, and when he did it was with a rough thrust that forced her to take all of him at once! 

_"F-fuck, Hofgrir!"_ Mira cried out, a shiver running up her spine at the intense feeling that had caused. The Nord kept a slow pace for a bit, drawing out the pleasure and enjoying her moans and explicit praises. He steadily picked up the pace until Mira was clutching at his blankets with her chest flattened into the bed. With a particularly rough thrust her legs gave out and her body sank all the way down. Her lover followed her, one hand under her chest to grip her throat carefully and the other shoving itself under her hips to play with her again. He was chasing his own end but wanted to feel her coming undone around him first!

_"That's it lass, you're doing so good.... You're going to come for me aren't you?"_ Mira nodded, unable to form coherent words as he pounded her into the mattress. Hofgrir changed the angle of his thrusts to hit a spot that had stars bursting in her vision and Mira's whole body shook under him. She could feel the pleasure building rapidly and her mouth fell open in a harsh pant, the dam suddenly breaking with a wave of heat, and her pussy clamped down and pulsed around the cock inside her. He kept going, lengthening her climax until she tried to pull away from him, the sensitivity becoming too much. Then he pulled out and finished himself on her overheated skin. Hofgrir rested his weight above her and leaned his forehead into her damp shoulder, just enjoying the sweet perfume from her skin and allowing them both to catch their breath. If he were completely honest with himself this simple fuck was infinitely more satisfying than the strange kinks Haelga seemed insistent about when he was with her. Maybe the next time she came around he would turn her away, she was getting tiresome anyway... She also seemed to feel compelled to call him Horse-crusher, like it was some sort of well earned title when in truth it shamed him. 

*************************

Mira rolled onto her back under him and slung her arms around his neck with a contented smile, her fingers twining into his steel gray hair so she could pull him into a warm and affectionate kiss. One of her legs wrapping around his hip to bring him closer. The older man sighed and happily pulled her against his body. When her hips rolled up and her tongue flicked playfully against his he pulled back and looked at her in surprise,

_"Not satisfied?! You'll have to give me a few minutes if you want to go again. I'm not a teenager anymore..."_ He chuckled, and Mira laughed softly. She gave him another light kiss and regretfully explained that she had business to take care of or she would be happy to stay here all afternoon. With that, Hofgrir got up and they both redressed. There was no awkward conversation, or any discomfort between them as the stable master walked her outside with a relaxed manner. They passed Shadr on his way to fetch more hay and the young man flushed a deep red at the obvious marks on his boss' throat and upper chest. The poor Redguard had heard them from outside and had a bit of trouble concentrating on his chores. To avoid looking suspicious Mira looped around the back of the city walls instead of heading back inside through the front gates. It would look odd to turn back to the city when she had been pretending to leave just and hour earlier.

Taking the path through the docks Mira passed Bolli again and the fisherman gave her a black look as she walked by, a small cut on his cheek was the only evidence that she had even touched him. Indaryn hadn't been so lucky... There was a dark bruise developing under his chin, he had cut his tongue when his teeth closed sharply over it, and he had a pounding head ache. The idiot should have just given her the stone, bedding a perverted woman hadn't been worth all this trouble! The Bunkhouse was mostly empty except for Haelga and Svana, since the workers who slept there were all at their jobs. Haelga looked up and rolled her eyes muttering, 

_"I already told you that I have no beds for you elf. My answer hasn't changed since yesterday."_

 _"I'm not here for you bitch."_ Mira snapped and ignored the angry squawk from the other woman. She walked around the corner to where Svana was sweeping the dusty floor boards again. Haelga's niece looked up with hopeful eyes and Mira nodded silently. Both of them kept their voices down as she pulled the stones from her bag and closed Svana's hand over them. She smiled up at the taller young woman as her eyes glittered with wicked amusement. Mira was tempted to watch the confrontation between the family members but this was more of a private affair. Still she would stay close and listen, just in case Haelga made a big scene. She leaned against the wall of the building, opposite to where Maul stood. The dark haired man gave her a nod that she returned and both of them had a chuckle at the sudden outburst of noise from the bunkhouse. Haelga was screeching in an ugly voice,

_"WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE?! SVANA HOW **DARE YOU!!!** " _

_"I'm tired of you acting so high and mighty all the time! LIKE YOU'RE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME AND EVERYBODY ELSE!!_ _You're just a perverted **bitch** that sleeps with married men." _There were a few more shouted insults and then a loud thud and a cry of pain. Svana stormed out of the house cradling her hand with a grimace of annoyance. She hadn't realized how much it could hurt to punch someone in the face! But it was so satisfying she was tempted to go back inside and do it again. Instead she walked over to Mira to thank her once more. As she did Haelga stumbled outside too with a rapidly swelling cheek and screamed at her niece.

_"You are no longer welcome in my home you ungrateful little slut! Find somebody else to feed and clothe you!"_ Svana only turned around and made some obscene gesture at her aunt and then ignored her completely until Haelga disappeared with a slamming door. Like Svana wanted to stay with her anymore in the first place? No she would go to Solitude or Markarth instead. She had enough coin to hire a carriage and just go, anywhere was better than this thieves den where her only family treated her like dirt. Mira smiled as the young woman told her about the plan and wished her the best of luck. The assassin was entirely satisfied with how the little venture turned out and now it was time to head back to her small cozy cabin while the sun was still warming her back. To think all this had started because she hadn't wanted to make her way home in the rain... Mira began singing a tune as she walked into the woods around the city and headed homeward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I was wrong in thinking Indaryn is married, but at this point I'm too lazy to fix it. Lore breaking be damned, Indaryn has a wife in this chapter and that's final!


	4. I'll Show You The Cloud District!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nazeem's pretentious attitude gets on Mira's nerves

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is less a fully fleshed out story, and more of a drabble. Still it was fun. Does anyone else find these people as annoying as I do?

As Mira climbed the stairs toward Dragon's Reach she passed a Redguard in those stupid brown quilted robes that were popular in Skyrim for gods only know what reason. She was only here because she had been gathering ingredients for potions out in the tundra and had been attacked by a trio of bandits that happened to have a bounty on their heads in this hold. Since she could always use a bit of extra money and had killed them while she was already near the city Mira figured she may as well collect it. She had taken the men's heads as proof so she carried them in a bloodstained burlap sack. After a moment the Bosmer realized the Redguard was following her up the steps, seeming to hurry so he could catch up.

_"Do you get to the Cloud District very often? Oh, what am I saying, of course you don't. Not looking like that anyway ah, of course you're very pretty! But that armor is filthy, and you are covered in blood. You're a bounty hunter yes?"_ His pretentious nasally voice immediately putting Mira on edge. She took a deep breath and continued walking up the steps in silence, but it seemed that the man had more to say...

_"I am Nazeem, and I come here all the time to do business with the Jarl and his steward. My assistance is vital to the running of the city."_ They had nearly reached the top of the staircase and Mira paused with one foot on the landing to look at the man over her shoulder. Using her cat like senses she sniffed at the air curiously... Under the man's cologne and the smell of woolen robes all she could catch of his scent was sweat, fertilizer, soil, vegetables and livestock. This Redguard was a farmer, which was certainly a worthy service but not enough to justify this inflated sense of self importance. She hated that kind of attitude unless it was incredibly well earned so Mira turned back toward him, blocking his path to the keep.

_"I guess I can forgive that assumption since I'm carrying a bag of heads to collect the bounty on their formers owners, but no... I am **not** a bounty hunter. Someone like yourself ought to know better than to judge by appearances. You dress yourself up in those ridiculous robes like some prancing nobleman but under that cologne you smell like a compost heap. I'll let you in on a little secret, I'm beast kin.... and if you ever approach me with that high and mighty tone again I'll show you the **real cloud district**. By dropping you off the bridge at Winterhold..." _Standing two steps above him Mira was able to look him in the eye, with her teeth bared in a grin exposing many sharp teeth. Nazeem tried to take a step back away from the frightening sight but since he was standing at the edge of a stair it was a very unwise move. His boot caught nothing but air and he teetered wildly on the edge of his balance. Mira's hand shot out to catch the front of his robes and pulled him forward.

_"Watch your step Farmer.... Wouldn't want you to take a tumble and break your neck."_ She brushed off the front of his robes with a laugh as she got blood on his collar. Oops... The poor man looked incredibly shaken as he turned and walked back down the steps, apparently deciding that his business could wait until the slim Bosmer was not in Dragons Reach. Her laughter followed him across the city as she continued to the Jarl's palace. The guards looked at her with a bit of concern so she nodded to them and made a show of leaving her sword out by the door. Entering the building unarmed made the young assassin uncomfortable but it would ease the guards nerves, because Nazeem had at least been right about her appearance... During her fight with the bandits, one man had thrown her into the nearby stream and as she got out of the water a second had tripped her into the muddy bank. So Mira's normally spotless armor was caked in mud and blood from the fight, and her hair was tangled with twigs and grass.

Hrongar and Irileth stood at either side of Balgruuf's throne and menaced her as she walked along the oversized dining table below them. She stopped a respectful distance away from the Jarl and bowed her head. Balgruuf leaned forward with interest. It wasn't very often that child sized elves walked into his court carrying bloody sacks and covered in dirt and plants. His guards warily kept their hands near their weapons and waited with no small amount of curiosity as well. 

_"I must apologize for tracking mud into your halls and for my disheveled appearance Lord Balgruuf. I was assaulted by bandits out in the plains and before I was able to win the fight they apparently decided I was too clean. It seemed they had bounties on their heads so I've come to collect... With their heads as proof of death."_ She gestured toward the bag at her feet seriously. The Jarl waved Hrongar forward to retrieve it and the warrior gave Mira a calculating look, as if she might suddenly lunge at him. When he got close enough Mira handed him the sack gently and he seemed surprised at both her excellent manners and the vibrant green eyes standing out among the dirt and blood smeared on her face. He opened the bag to look and indeed there were three cleanly removed human heads at the bottom, they seemed to match the descriptions of some wanted men in the hold. After Balgruuf looked for himself he ordered Proventus to pay the woman. His Imperial steward approached her rather nervously and Mira stifled an impulse to growl, just to startle the jumpy man a little. But that was needlessly mean and she didn't allow herself the pleasure.

_"Thank you for your service to Whiterun miss. I commend your bravery."_ Balgruuf murmured with respect, and Mira bowed deeply in return. As far as Jarls went this gruff man was a decent one. No unnecessary posturing, or lavish over spending, and he genuinely cared for the safety of his people. Unlike some... Siddgeir for example. She knew for a fact that dick had dealings with criminals just to line his pockets with extra money. In any case her business in the castle was done and Mira wanted to return to gathering potion ingredients, so she thanked Balgruuf for his generous reward and then took her leave.

She passed Nazeem again on her way out of the city and his face went comically pale and he moved to the opposite side of the street when she walked by. The assassin laughed loudly and gave him a little wave that he most definitely didn't return... In fact he nearly ran toward the palace when she looked his way. A few other people nearby watched the interaction curiously and Adrianne laughed loudly at the man fleeing from the small elven woman. Mira walked through the gates and decided that she would make her way home, and just collect ingredients on the way. In the distance she could see ravens circling in the air over the place she'd left the bandit corpses. She chuckled quietly, being devoured by scavengers was all such scum deserved.


	5. Heimskr Shut Up!

Typically wood elves and were-creatures don't get sick much, but Mira has been working herself to the bone with contracts and gathering crafting materials for a new suit of armor, and she has worn herself down too far. Last night before the shops closed up the had felt a bit off as she traded deer hides to Adrianne for some more expensive metal ingots. As she loaded the ebony, moonstone, and malachite in her pack she felt her stomach churning and narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Really? Now? When she's so busy she can't afford to slow down? 

_"Gods dammit..."_ Mira grumbles under her breath and heaves her heavy pack over her and walks out of the shop, just slightly unsteady on her feet. It's late and she's hungry so she heads for the Bannered Mare and grabs a room and some dinner. As Hulda set a plate of salmon and rice in front of her she feels that churning again and grimaces with a hand over her stomach, and the other covering her mouth and nose. The werecat bats the plate away from herself and bolts out the side door of the inn and promptly loses her lunch. As Mira stands there panting softly her ears twitch back at a sound grating on the edge of her hearing. There is a man in the town center above her screaming something about Talos. 

_"We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars!"_ She frowns at that. 'Oh yes, talking about maggots and dung is sure to attract followers to your religion' she thinks with a sarcastic roll of her eyes and pushes back through the door to the inn and trudges up to her room. At least inside she can't hear that ungodly screeching. Her stomach has settled a bit now that it's empty, but she feels worryingly weak and tired. Mira falls into her bed and is out like a light just a minute later.

In the morning she is feverish and can barely stand without swaying dizzily on her feet. There is no way she can get any work done like this, let alone travel back around the mountains to get home. Suppressing another heave of her stomach and looking extremely pale, Mira doesn't even bother putting her boots on before stumbling slowly toward the temple of the divines for healing. To her great irritation the priest of Talos is still at his altar screaming again... The man really needed some new material since he was spouting the same idiocy as the night before. Her ears twitched and drooped slightly at the sound as it made her pounding headache worse. She really pities the Companions living so close to this zealot day in and day out.

_"Enough is enough!"_ Mira growled to herself and strode over to Heimskr and tapped his shoulder. The Nord turned toward her in surprise, the loud flow of his sermon cutting off suddenly. _"Look priest, normally I'm all for religious freedom... But can you keep it down a little? Nobody likes being screamed at, and I for one am rea-ugh... really not in the mood for it."_

 _"What could an elf possibly understand of Talos anyway? Leave me to my work long ear..."_ He snapped rudely, and Mira growled with impatience. Bigoted asshole... 

_"I understand more than you'd expect or give me credit for, but that's hardly the point. Call me 'long ear' again, I dare you 'goat lover' and you'll find my sword is much longer than my ears and just as sharp. Now please lower the volume or- "_ Mira attempted to cover her mouth and turn away as her stomach rumbled angrily, but it was too late! Before she could move she ended up vomiting on Heimskr's robes and boots. He cried out in disgust and shoved her away from him roughly. The weakened Bosmer stumbled back and fell on her ass into the small canal behind them, yelping loudly at the cold water and hard stone of her landing. The Nord was storming away before she could even haul herself out of the icy water, then Danica was gently pulling the shivering elf to her feet.

_"Are you alright miss? You aren't looking well at all! Come with me to the temple dear, we'll get you taken care of."_ Since that was her goal anyway Mira allowed the priestess to lead her inside and to a bench where she could sit. Danica asked about her symptoms and Mira slowly listed nausea, vomiting, headaches, fever, weakness, and dizziness. Nodding gently, Danica instructs her to relax and promises to return with a curative soon. She just leans her head back against the wall and dozes off a little while she waits. The priestess comes back with a light pink potion that Mira drinks after a couple of questions. Danica humored the alchemist with a recipe. The tonic soothes her stomach and immediately cuts the fever. Everything else is fading a little more slowly but she feels so much better.

_"Thank you priestess. That worked wonders!"_ Mira bowed respectfully and left a generous donation with Danica on her way out. Within the hour she predicts that she will be in perfect health. Heading back to the main path, Mira is stopped by a guard blocking her way.

_"Excuse me ma'am but I need you to follow me and settle something._ _"_ The man is calm but commanding and the elf nods easily, walking toward the shrine to Talos she can guess what this is about... Heimskr is talking loudly to another guard, gesturing wildly with his hands and spinning some tale to put her in a bad light. She rolls her eyes and plans to tell the truth, even though it might not go well at least Whiterun is typically fair to it's visitors thanks to Balgruuf. At least it's not Windhelm, she'd be in irons already if it was.

_"There is the wench who threatened my life and fouled my clothes with her filthy elven sickness!"_ Heimskr yelled, pointing in Mira's face. She was tempted to slap his hand away but any further trouble wouldn't be worth it so she just stepped back with a frown. _"That woman blasphemed against our holy ancestor God, and told me if I didn't stop spreading his word that she would cut my throat!!!"_ The outright lie made Mira growl softly, but she held herself in check as the guards watched her very closely. Sure she had threatened him mildly, but only after he had insulted her.

_"What say you miss?"_ The taller guard asked her coldly.

_"I will admit to getting sick on the priest, but initially I only approached him to ask if he could please be a little quieter because my head was killing me. I was respectful, and then he called me a 'long ear'. In all honesty I **did** make a small threat when he insulted me, and threw up on him completely by accident.... but I kept my hands to myself and my weapons sheathed. He did not, actually he shoved me into the canal. I'm certain there were witnesses." _Mira said casually, and stood confidently by her word while Heimskr sputtered angrily that she was lying. However the second guard went to ask Danica about the incident and when he returned he confirmed Mira's story. The Nord was heavily fined for assaulting an innocent, and Mira was warned not to make threats to the citizens of the hold. All in all a good outcome and Mira happily promised to be civil as long as she was not attacked.


	6. Farengar is a Dick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After asking the Jarl for his help finding a capable assistant Farengar chooses Mira to accompany him on a trip.

'Mira Stormwind,

Your services were recommended to me by Jarl Balgruuf the Greater when I asked for someone reliable to escort me to Morthal. Please reply promptly if you are available for the job and you will be generously rewarded upon its successful completion. 

Court Wizard of Whiterun, Farengar Secret-fire.'

The letter was how Mira once again found herself climbing the stairs to Dragonsreach. The assassin knew the mage was an insufferable, pompous, superior ass, but coin was coin and the amount of contracts she received was currently a bit low. As she had on her last visit she dropped her sword outside the doors and walked inside, heading straight for Farengar's room. He was shuffling through some books on his desk mumbling under his breath. Hearing him mutter about a specific one he couldn't find, she glanced around the room and quickly spotted it. Mira plucked the heavy tome from a nearby shelf and held it out to the mage, he looked up and huffed at her impatiently.

_"So you're finally here? Took you long enough!"_ He snapped irritably and Mira's eyes narrowed at his tone. They had never been introduced and she was annoyed that not only was he assuming (correctly by coincidence) that she was here for him, but also that he was being an ass and ungrateful. She wondered if any other women had come in before her and been subjected to this routine. It was going to be a long trip to Morthal if this was how he kept behaving.... Reminding herself of the hefty coin purse she had been promised when it was over Mira crossed her arms over her chest and stared coldly at him.

_"I'll forgive your attitude for the moment, but not again. I came halfway across the country at your request and as quickly as possible. Now you may not be aware since you spend your time holed up in a cushy palace but the roads are pretty rough, hence your need for an escort... So obviously it would take a bit of time for me to get here."_ Her voice was polite, but curt with barely concealed aggression. Farengar looked dumbfounded for a moment with his eyes wide and his mouth open but he recovered quickly and sneered back at her.

_"I am an important and busy man, so I have little time for your excuses! Now that I have the books I need let's go."_ He gestured to the large sack of books he had just added her helpful addition to (still without thanks.) Mira glanced at the bag and judged from it's lumpy shape, full of corners, that it was mostly... If not all books. She liked to read as much as anyone but there was no way she'd help him haul all those across the hold and into Morthal's marshes!

_"Is that all you're bringing?"_ She asked him wearily and he rolled his eyes.

_"Yes, is that a problem?"_ Farengar snapped rudely again, making her sigh heavily to avoid snarling at him.

_"Is that...? YES it's a problem! You are going to need actual provisions... Food. Water. Healing supplies. All of which you need to be able to carry yourself! I'm not your pack mule, and I didn't take the job to babysit you. I'm happy to provide fresh meat since I'm a fair hunter, but your supplies are your own responsibility. If you don't agree to that then go hire a carriage to Morthal and figure out someone else to watch your pompous ass while you wander the swamps."_ Mira's polite tone had slipped considerably, and he glared angrily back at her but it did nothing to sway her stand on the matter. The Bosmer was not some pampered court official or witless mercenary, and her will was stronger than his. Instead of arguing further he began pulling books out of his pack and sorting them. Satisfied, Mira wandered over to his alchemy station and pulled a few bottles from the shelves that she knew would be useful to him there.

_"Here, take these. I'll go to the kitchens and ask them to get you some traveling rations."_ Farengar took the potions and thanked her meekly for the help. For her part Mira returned to quiet politeness now that he wasn't being a dick. She returned several minutes later with the food he would need and added it to his supplies, and then helped him adjust the pack to sit comfortably on his shoulders for the long trek. It was pretty clear he was unused to this and she would help him however she could... regardless of the fact that he didn't really deserve it, the man would be less aggravating if he wasn't whining about every little discomfort. Farengar still looked sullen at her scolding him but at least he was properly outfitted for the journey. The pair left Whiterun before noon and Mira enjoyed the sun and breezy weather. For the moment Farengar was quiet, staring into the open plains alertly. He seemed to be nervous about wild animals, but with the shifting breezes his guide could easily tell there were none in the area.

The first long afternoon of their trek passed without anything exciting happening, which Mira was grateful for, but a little action would have at least broken up the mage's complaints... His feet hurt, the mid day sun was too hot, how much longer would she expect him to walk without a break? An hour or so before the sun set she spotted a small grove of trees that would make a decent camping spot for the night and began striding toward it purposefully, causing Farengar to scurry after her fearfully. Worried about being abandoned apparently, she thought with a subtle roll of her eyes. Irritated as she was by his whining Mira wouldn't leave a man to die in the wilds... If only because it meant not being paid. She tasked the Nord with setting up his tent while she gathered wood for their fire. _"Just stay within the trees and you'll be fine on your own. I won't be far away."_

He hadn't quite looked convinced, but he also hadn't argued as she moved out of sight to pick up dead fall branches amongst the trees. Around twenty minutes later she returned to find his tent still a crumpled pile of canvas and one of the tent stakes nearly struck her in the head as he threw it in frustration. Mira ducked and growled out of exasperation. He couldn't even set up a tent?! Why on Nirn was a man this hopeless insisting on walking to Morthal? A carriage would have been faster, cheaper, and safer! If he wanted to spend a few hundred septims on a guide then she couldn't complain about his choices, but it made no sense to her. _"Damn contraption is impossible! I can't make heads not tails of how to assemble it..."_ Farengar grumbled to himself, scratching at his ridiculous mutton chop sideburns.

_"It would help if you didn't chuck parts of it at your guide...."_ Mira snapped, making him jump two feet in the air and screech comically. _"Go sit down you fool, apparently I'm doing **all** the chores on this trip. Unless you can make yourself useful starting the fire?" _Flushing bright red, the man nodded and walked over to where she had dropped the fire wood. Mira watched briefly to be sure he didn't just set the whole thing ablaze with magic and set to work building his shelter. Threading the canvas tent over the support poles and tightening the ropes attached to the stakes. It took her all of five minutes to finish. With that done she gathered supplies for a stew from both their packs and set the pot over the fire. Farengar still looked a bit sullen, but he glanced over at the tent and seemed confused.

_"That thing's awfully small, where will you sleep?"_ He sounded worried, and she huffed out a small laugh while she stirred a little salt into their dinner.

_"Under the stars mage. It will be easier to defend us both during the night if I'm not climbing over you to get outside. Although, if I wanted to I could fit inside with you... I'm sure you've noticed I don't take up much space."_ The slim and short wood elf muttered without looking up from her task. Farengar looked more closely at her now, seeming to realize for the first time that this fierce woman was quite small. He honestly hadn't been paying her stature that much attention before, but now he worried how someone barely over five feet tall would stop a group of bandits or a bear.... Or gods forbid, a dragon! Not that he really need be anxious, Mira could practically handle all but the dragon in her sleep. The pair fell silent as they waited for the stew to cook, with Mira methodically cleaning and sharpening her weapons and Farengar reading by firelight. They ate the simple stew and he retired to his tent shortly afterward while his guide stretched out on her bed roll outside. The night passed slowly with only one thing of note occuring. A large male saber cat passed through the grove and stared curiously at the mage's shelter, but quickly moved on when he noticed the strong female guarding it. That certainly would have scared her employer, Mira thought with a grin. She caught a few brief hours of sleep between patrols around the camp over the long night. 

Morning came and she nearly had to drag the sleepy mage from his bed roll, complaining bitterly of back pain from sleeping on the 'cold, hard ground'. Mira had no sympathy for him, she'd chosen a camping spot with soft springy moss under the tent and his bedding had been thicker than anything she had ever used while camping... Milk drinker... She shooed him over to the fire to wake up fully and took down his tent for him. Since he couldn't put it up, she predicted that he'd be unable to pack the damned thing away properly either. Farengar was just becoming alert when she finished. She wished he wasn't when he began complaining that there wasn't any food ready. _"I'm hungry, where's breakfast?"_

 _"Do you not remember what I said yesterday? I'm not here to cater to your every whim, I'm here to protect you from bandits and hostile wildlife. Eat some of the field rations in your pack if you're hungry."_ Mira replied as she strapped the tent to her pack. Thanking the divines that they should be able to reach Morthal by this evening. The court wizard pouted sullenly at her for a moment, only to be ignored, so he eventually got up and took a small loaf of bread and a hunk of cheese out of his rations. They were on the road less than an hour after the Nord woke up, which seemed to annoy him but he kept silent when Mira hissed irritably after his fourth complaint. By noon she was ready for a small break herself, they were just reaching the borders of the hold and she was looking for a nice place to stop when the breeze shifted, bringing a new scent. Sweat, ale, dirty leather, and old blood.... Bandits, of course... The werecat paused and held up her hand for silence, which Farengar completely ignored, bumping roughly into her.

_"Watch where you're standing woman! Why did you- OOF!"_ He cut off with a huff and a groan as Mira elbowed him harshly in the stomach, continuing to wheeze as she sniffed the air around them. Holding a hand to the spot that would surely bruise, he straightened up painfully.

_"Quiet **man...** There are bandits ahead. I'm trying to figure out how far, and how many." _Farengar's eyes widened in surprise and fear as he began looking around frantically. He had no idea how the wood elf knew the things she seemed to, but worry took over his curiosity on the subject. Skyrim's thugs were tough, and he had yet to see the skill of his protector in battle. She was rather small and he worried the Jarl's recommendation was poorly thought out... Then he was pulled from his spiraling thoughts by the ring of metal as Mira drew her sword. A chorus of battle cries sounded from ahead and he looked up to see six men charging toward them with weapons brandished, and three more archers standing near the tree line. With a loud yelp he called up a ward, and used stoneskin then promptly fled! Leaving Mira to fight alone... She glanced over her shoulder with a frustrated growl,

_"Fucking idiot! I swear I'll flay him alive when I chase him down..."_ There was no more time to come up with colorful threats as she was surrounded. The bandits wielded axes and maces, though one with heavy armor carried a spiked shield and a sword. He would be difficult, seeming to be the leader of the group. A pair of men charged her from behind and she ducked their swinging weapons just in time! The first man, a Dunmer, stumbled from his missed attack and she rounded on him quickly, taking advantage of his loss of balance and cutting deeply across his thigh. Before she could do more the second man aimed his mace at her head, forcing her to duck and dance backward. One of his comrades caught her around the neck then, and sniffed her neck.

_"This one's real pretty, for an elf... What say we keep her around for a bit boss? Haven't had a wench at camp for ages!"_ The Orc currently keeping her pressed against his body rumbled. Mira's nose wrinkled in disgust as his dirty tusks scraped her skin, his breath was awful and he smelled like he'd never bathed in his life. A deep snarl left her at his words, and the chief's sniff of disdain. He looked at the Bosmer with disinterest and shrugged.

_"Too short and skinny for my tastes, but if you can get it up for such a pathetic piece of tail then be my guest..."_ Suppressing the urge to gag and scream simultaneously, Mira's vision bled red at the edges and she twisted her body in the Orc's grip. Her hands came up quickly and she twisted the man's bulk around to throw him over her shoulder, into the rocky ground. She followed through with the motion, twisting his arm until something snapped and he screeched comically. Mira couldn't help but chuckle at the unexpected high pitched noise after hearing his gravelly voice. At his allies humiliation, the second bandit rallied and came after her in a rage. He wasn't really fast enough to catch Mira though... She dodged swiftly just out of his range, watching for an opening in the flurry of attacks. There were none, he wasn't fast enough to catch her with a blow but his defenses were strong. With a growl of irritation Mira realized the only way to win this battle was to take a hit...

_"Dammit, hold still you little bitch!"_ The bandit snapped at her angrily, which made her laugh softly, after all that was the plan but it wouldn't go the way he wanted it to.

_"Aw, are you getting frustrated? Don't worry darling, I was going to slow down a bit. It was getting unfair."_ Exactly as promised, she slowed her pace and moved in a little closer, parrying and blocking his blows until he lost a little steam and then she let him land one. A solid strike to her stomach that made her gasp with pain, but in the next second she had grabbed the blunt end of the mace and jerked the man forward to run him through with her sword. Mira dropped the mace and pulled her sword free, turning and flicking blood at the Dunmer she had wounded with a dark smile. Two of the nine men after her were down, one most certainly mortally wounded, the other about to be. The chief sneered and waved them all forward at once joining the fray himself this time. Surely the eight of them could handle this one tiny woman? If not he'd hang his weapon up for good. There was no way he'd live down being defeated by a single wood elf woman... As they all stalked toward her, she held up a hand to call a halt.

_"Wait a second boys... What the bloody hell are you doing girl?"_ The bandit leader called out curiously, watching Mira dig through a pouch hanging at her thigh and mumble to herself.

_"Hold your horses big man... Now where did I put it? Ah, right there! Okay, let's get this show on the road!"_ With a wide grin the young woman held a fragile glass globe, filled with some strange gray powder. He free hand made a come hither gesture and the other thugs eagerly attacked. Sensing trouble, the chief wisely hung back a little and the decision most certainly gave him at least five more minutes to live. The Bosmer woman's smile only grew as her foes leapt into battle without thought. With a flick of her wrist the glass sphere was smashed and a thick cloud of smoke obscured the area. The men surrounding her began coughing harshly as Mira pulled up her mask and began cutting them down. From outside the smoke the chief heard bones cracking, several screams, blades cutting flesh, and a few hand to hand blows landing hard. This went on for nearly five minutes before silence fell with a final wet gurgling sigh. The smoke began to dissipate and then from the center of it Mira pounced on the bandit chief and plunged her dual daggers deep into his lungs, through the plate armor on his chest.

Upon seeing their powerful leader taken down before he even had a chance to fight back the archers turned tail and ran as fast as they could, leaving the injured Orc to trail after them screaming obscenities. As much as Mira wanted to track the scum down and toy with them, she needed to find the cowardly mage and deliver him to the damned swamp they were trekking to. She turned and trotted back in the direction Farengar had run. Nearly half a mile back toward Whiterun he was hiding behind a big rock. Now that the adrenaline had worn off Mira's muscles were aching from the mace hit she took, and it pissed her off that the wizard just took off and left her. He got up and walked toward her quickly with a relieved look, _"Oh thank the Divines! I thou-ARGH!"_

Mira cut him off with a powerful punch to the mouth. _"Shut the fuck up Farengar! You don't ever take off and leave an ally to face battle on their own! How in Oblivion was I meant to protect you if those bastards split up and came after you while I was fighting for my own damn life? You had seriously better be able to heal the damage I took from them. If we run into more trouble and you abandon me again then I swear I'll castrate you!"_ Her chest was heaving angrily and she was pacing like a caged cat. Farengar wiped the blood away from his rapidly swelling split lip and glaring at her. This time he didn't just sit there and take her behavior figuratively sitting down, he got up and moved toward her aggressively. 

_"How dare you strike me, you insolent, moronic bitch?! I ought to send you back to the Rift without pay right now!"_ He tried to loom over her to no effect other than making her more angry. Anyone with sense would tell you not to threaten an injured predator but Farengar didn't know his guide's true nature. She snarled and knocked him back on his ass and planted her boot on his stomach. Her pupils were narrowed to slits and her fangs bared aggressively. Suddenly realizing that he was in way over his head the mage held up his open hands and spoke quietly and slowly. _"Alright I'm sorry, j-just stand down and I'll heal you..."_

 _"Hmph... Fine heal me and then fire me if you wish. You'd be on your own getting yourself to one of the capitols then though, and I wouldn't recommend it. In fact you're sitting not ten feet from a saber cat's stashed kill..."_ The intensity bled out of her face and she let him get up. The Nord looked frantically in the direction she pointed and saw the carcass of a small deer about seven feet away. Fresh enough to not even smell yet! He turned back to the Bosmer who was just looking back at him with an unreadable expression. _"Who's the moron now Farengar? If you fired me you'd be dead before sun down."_

He wasn't able to argue with her this time, he was truly lucky she returned when she did and that the large feline had not. With a small nod the mage stepped toward her and used healing hands on her stomach. Mira sighed with relief as the deep ache was soothed. Neither of them said anything more, Mira because she had nothing left to say to the naive mage, and Farengar stayed quiet so he wouldn't rile his irritable guard up any further. When Mira set up camp that evening Farengar actually helped without prompting or complaints this time, afraid of what would happen if he left her to do the work on her own again. By the next morning she seemed much calmer but no less cold. In fact she ignored his every attempt at conversation and only bothered to respond if he had a valid concern. Mid morning they topped the ridge just outside Morthal's only large village and Mira let out a long relieved sigh.

_"Well mage, you'd better get to your business quickly. I won't hang around and wait forever if you want me to escort you back."_ Farengar only nodded and started walking down the hill. Mira smirked, it seemed like he was finally getting it through his thick skull. Just because he was paying her for protection did not mean he was allowed to disrespect her. The court wizard led her toward a house out on one of the docks and knocked on it's door loudly. He was answered by a wary and irritable voice from inside,

_"If you're here to harass me again, you can just leave Benor. For the last time I don't do any rituals involving necrophilia!"_ The door swung open quickly on a grouchy looking Redguard in blue mage's robes, who did a double take at the sight of a Nord with ridiculous mutton chops, and a Bosmer with silver hair. _"Oh... Hello Farengar... You've never brought someone else with you before. Who is she?"_ Falion asked suspiciously even as he moved out of the way to let them inside. If only to shut out any prying eyes from Morthal's disapproving villagers. The elf stood confidently by the door and cleaned dirt from under her nails with her skinning knife,

_"Hello there handsome, the name's Mira. Farengar hired me to escort him here. And you are?"_ Mira winked cheekily at the mage, trying to put him at ease with the flirting and her relaxed posture. It didn't seem to be doing a very good job, he was still tense but at least he wasn't looking like he was ready to set her on fire at a moments notice.

_"Falion. My name is Falion."_ He said with a roll of his eyes at her obviously false flirting. From behind his leg a young Nord girl peeked out shyly, and this time Mira's soft smile was genuine. As hard and cold as her attitude with strangers could be, the wood elf loved children. The child gave her a tiny smile and Mira brightened up even more. With a small flourish she had learned from the clowns in her circus family, she pulled out a vibrant pink lilly from her alchemy pouch and offered it to the girl. Falion nodded when she looked up at him for permission, and she crept forward to take the flower from Mira's outstretched hand. Falion seemed to relax quite a bit more once Mira proved to be more than some ignorant sell sword. The two mages moved over to the table to discuss their business and trade materials while Agni, as the child was named, warmed up to Mira more quickly than anyone else Falion had seen her talk to. Before he focused on Farengar he noticed the elf and his daughter sitting cross legged on the floor as Mira showed her more pretty flowers and told her what they were for. A couple of hours later Farengar thanked Falion for his time and stood up with a loud groan. 

_"Well elf, it's about time we got going. Maybe this time you'll try harder not to lead us straight into a bandit ambush."_ He chuckled and ignored the scowl Mira gave him. So much for him learning from his mistakes... Showing off for a colleague no doubt. Well he wouldn't enjoy her response, but she would wait until they had left the village to give him another lesson in respect. No need to scare Agni after all. So without a word, Mira followed him outside and along the road until they reached the last house before the ground started to rise. At that point she stopped in front of him so suddenly he bounced off her back. While he was grumbling irritably she turned to face him and punched him in the gut.

_"Hire a carriage to get you back to Whiterun. You can reduce my pay or not pay me at all for all I care, your money isn't worth listening to you whining for another few days. Hitting you is payment enough as far as I'm concerned."_ With a laugh and a wave Mira left Farengar clutching his stomach and wheezing as she strolled back to the tavern for a drink. She no longer gave a damn if the stupid mage survived, he wasn't her problem any more. 


	7. Get Over Yourself

Mira heads to Solitude to do some business. Taarie insults Mira's hand crafted clothes and says she can get better items at Radiant Raiment. Mira heads to the blue palace at the same time as another stranger wearing Taarie's special outfit. Elisif doesn't like the clothes but praises Mira's craftsmanship right in front of the stuck up elf.

Solitude is about as far from Mira's comfort zone as one can get while in Skyrim, both physically since it's on the opposite end of the country from her secluded cabin, and because it's a huge city full of posh people she'd rather avoid. Including a pair of Altmer sisters currently eyeing her like she's a turd in their path. The wood elf knows that these ladies own a prestigious clothing shop just across from the inn she is heading toward for a much needed bath and change of clothes but she doesn't much care as long as they leave her alone. An hour or so later she leaves the Winking Skeever dressed impeccably for a meeting with Sybille Stentor at the Blue Palace. She is wearing a blue, long sleeve, off the shoulder satin shift that falls just above her knees in the front and nearly reaches the cobblestones behind her. Over that, cinching her tiny waist in, is a collared corset in dove gray leather. Both the satin and leather are embellished with subtle floral designs and so are the matching sandals she wears. The entire outfit is superbly crafted by her own hands.

_"I suppose it's an improvement over your filthy rags from before... but honestly, if you're considering going to the palace dressed like that I pity you."_ Endarie's cultured and condescending voice rang out when Mira passed close by the high elf who was currently standing and fussing with the robes of a tall female stranger. _"You can't possibly hope to impress the nobility with those clothes... Truly it would be embarrassing. You should take a look at our stock in Radiant Raiment if you want to make a good impression."_

Mira paused briefly and looked over at the extravagant garment the Altmer was still fiddling with.... Mustard yellow robes made with silk brocade, overly done embroidery with a handful of loose stitches, and thick coarse looking fur covering the shoulders... _"No... I don't think so. At least I can properly tighten my own stitching. You've got loose threads hanging."_ Mira pointed at several spots on the robes and watched in amusement as Endarie sneered in disbelief and then flushed bright pink when she realized the wood elf told the truth. _"If you'll excuse me I have a meeting at the palace... Good luck showing off your... bath robe."_

_"You insolent little wretch! How dare you? So, you made those rags fit for a scullery maid yourself? Oh you poor dear, thinking you have skill! It's almost enough to make me feel sorry for how they'll laugh at you in there... but not quite."_ Endarie snapped, shifting to a falsely sad look at the end of her little speech. Mira's eyes narrowed irritably as she turned back to the high elf. Then she closed them and heaved a sigh, this bitch was not worth another second of her time, so she turned her back and strolled away. Hearing boots on the road behind her she glanced back... Of course the stranger and both Altmer sisters were heading to the palace now... Why had she expected any different? It was only with great effort that she let them walk past her without pricking the high elf with one of the poisoned needles hidden in her woven leather bracelet. The rest of the walk went rather uneventfully until she approached the courtyard. Striding toward her quickly with an expression only the mad followers of Sheogorath seemed to have, was a scruffy, black eyed member of her own kind. Mira kept her guard up cautiously as he reached her. 

_"You there! Please help me, my master has been gone for so long! I need him back, but he says he wants to stay on his vacation longer... He's in the old wing of the palace. Here! You'll need the pelvis to get in!"_ The mad man thrust an entire human pelvis into Mira's hands before she could even respond to him. She had to restrain the urge to hiss irritably or stab him as he got so close but she managed not to hurt him. She almost dropped the bone he handed her in surprise, and as he walked briskly away she called out in confusion,

_"What on nirn am I meant to do with this?!"_ And how had he gotten so far away so quickly? Bosmer weren't known for having long legs. His response was muffled but something along the lines of 'you'll know when the time comes' Sure... That made perfect sense... Not! Looking down at the old, bleached bone Mira huffed and promptly tossed it over her shoulder into the bushes at the side of the road. There was only one "master" the old wood elf could have meant, and the assassin wanted nothing to do with him! She had already chosen a daedric patron and had dealings with another by accident, but she had no desire to play with the highly unpredictable and dangerous Mad Prince Sheogorath! She made her way into the palace and up the stairs to where court was being held and waited for Sybille. While she stood off to the side of the crowd she noticed Endarie and the tall stranger from outside her shop approaching the Jarl. 

_"Jarl Elisif, I've come to offer my respect and ask... Do you like my robes?"_ She bowed deeply to the hold leader and gestured to the gaudy yellow garment. Elisif dipped her head in return and studied the robes politely. It was with real satisfaction that Mira watched her expression shift from interest at the question to disgust. The color was terrible, the fur rough and oddly unkempt, and the gold embroidery and jewels were over done. All in all a horribly tacky and obnoxious outfit. Elisif shook her head firmly,

_"No stranger, I'm afraid I don't. It's rather... Outdated and far too ostentatious for my tastes,"_ The fair haired Nord woman glanced around the room and pointed toward Mira as she stood by the stairs, _"now that young woman is wearing something I would like to have myself. It looks comfortable, functional, and elegant."_ The jarl smiled and Mira bowed her head in thanks with a humble smile of her own. Endarie was seething with just barely contained jealousy and disbelief when Mira looked her way. The second her green gaze met the Altmer's golden eyes Endarie let out an undignified angry screech and stormed from the court with the stranger at her heels. The entire room burst into laughter at the scene, and Mira joined in. That had been well worth the effort not to poison the high elf! After the drama, court was concluded and Mira met with Sybille briefly to deliver some rare alchemy ingredients. She returned to the Winking Skeever with a much heavier coin purse and sat in her bed with a happy sigh, only to quickly spring back up with a pained yelp at the hard object under her blanket.

_"What was that?"_ She yanked the covers back and groaned loudly at the sight... A word old set of human hip bones rested on the straw mattress and wild laughter echoed through her head. Damned Daedra messing with her life! It seemed that Sheogorath wanted to meet the little Bosmer... Or that mad man had snuck in and put the discarded bone in her bed. Either way Mira guessed that she would have to retrieve the prince from his "vacation" at some point. Resigned to deal with some sort of inconvenient craziness later, she placed the pelvis on her bedside table and laid down again. _"Well shit...."_


	8. A Weapon in Human Form?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heading to Dragon's Reach to claim another bounty, Mira runs into Hrongar again and teases him for a comment he makes while they chat.

Another sunny afternoon is passing in Whiterun's plains with Mira hunting down a large pack of wolves to collect the bounty on them. The beasts have been killing livestock at the edges of the hold and no one else had accepted the job because there were so many strong healthy wolves in the pack. Eleven fully grown vicious killers to be exact, but as an expert hunter and predator herself, the werecat had no real trouble eliminating the pack. She had made short work of the canines and tanned the hides before heading for the city. At least this time she had intended to take the bounty... Last time had been an irritating accident, and she was pleased to say that she hadn't ended the adventure with an unplanned mud bath.

She passed the gates with a friendly wave to Adrianne, and another to Anoriath who stared after her with a grin. The huntsman harbored a crush on the tough Bosmer woman, but hadn't had the courage to speak up yet. As she walked past the Gildergreen Mira tossed Lucia a small coin pouch and then gave Nazeem a teasing wave. The Redguard paled comically and quickly walked away to Mira's great amusement. Apparently he still hadn't gotten over their last interaction. Lucia giggled at the sight and Mira grinned as she walked up the stairs to the keep. This time the guards gave her polite nods instead of hostility, she had been to Dragon's reach a handful of times now on business. Jarl Balguuf was busy dealing with the running of his city and Proventus was with him. Hrongar was the only one in the throne room aside from the guards. The tall warrior with striking red war paint dashed across his eyes approached her with curiosity.

_"You look familiar, but I can't place where I have seen you before..."_ Hrongar grumbled as he furrowed his brow thoughtfully and stared down at Mira. Who smiled softly and nodded.

_"I'm sure I look pretty different now that I'm not covered in mud, blood, and dead plants. I clean up well don't I?"_ She spun herself in a little circle, and smirked as the mans eyes lingered on the curves of her waist and ass. Her current armor fit like a second skin and she didn't blame him for checking out her form. The Nord shook off his distraction and replaced it with recognition. He knew who she was now and she absolutely looked better like this, all shining eyes and clean sweet smelling armor. 

_"You're the bounty hunter from this summer...? Yes, you do clean up nicely."_ Hrongar said with an appraising smirk, _"What brings you here today?"_

 _"I'm not quite a professional, but I do happen to be here with another bounty I was hoping to claim."_ Mira said with a pleasant smile, fluttering her long lashes at him and feeling a bit of pleasure as he stared down at her with undisguised interest. Teasing such men was always fun, and the Dibellan devotee didn't have any objections to things becoming more... Physical either. Especially not with serious faced, muscular warriors that she could turn into groaning puddles with a well placed touch...

_"I'm sorry to say I can't pay you the coin you are owed, but perhaps you would like to join me for a drink while you wait?"_ He sounded hopeful, and Mira had no reason to refuse his invitation. When she accepted Hrongar grinned broadly and lead her up the stairs to the living quarters. Being Jarl Balgruuf's younger brother had it's perks, and bringing pretty guests up to his private chambers was certainly one of them. As they reached his rooms Hrongar held the door open for Mira and watched as she walked through gracefully with swaying hips. The slender Bosmer looked back over her shoulder and winked slyly when she caught him staring again.

_"Talos save me... That ass is perfect..."_ He whispered under his breath. Of course Mira's sharp ears picked up the quiet words and she smiled with satisfaction. Moments later the pair were settled at his small table with glasses of mead in hand, making small talk to pass the time. Mira flirted casually with him and was pleased to see him enjoying it. Hrongar was having difficulty keeping his eyes off the way her hands moved as she spoke, with such confidence and obvious dexterity. He wondered what sort of weapons she preferred, and less innocently, how those impossibly smooth fingers would feel reaching under his armor? Her full lips shaping pretty words were just as much of a distraction, and then she was asking him something and he needed her to repeat the question, her light laughter at his embarrassment making him flush.

_"I said, what does such an impressive and handsome man do for a living? Surely you are not just meant to stand around the hall intimidating your brother's guests?"_ It takes Hrongar a moment to form the words past the fog her honeyed speech makes in his mind but his answer makes her laugh again, this time with something more than amusement coloring the sound though he doesn't know what...

_"I'm not a man, I'm a weapon in human form. Just unsheathe me, and point me at the enemy."_

_"A weapon in human form hmm? I don't doubt that, but you most definitely **are a man**. As for unsheathing you.... That's an interesting idea, but I wouldn't waste it on an enemy when I could keep that delicious sight for myself...." _Mira's gaze on him is half-lidded and warm, she slowly licks her lips as he watches her and realizes exactly what she means. There is no mistaking that hungry look, or the inviting body language she displays. Hrongar stands up quickly and crosses the small distance between them. He doesn't waste anymore thought on words because his answer is obvious to them both. His large calloused hands close on her waist and set her none too gently on the table. One slides up her back to tangle into her silky silver hair and the other tugs her close to his body. Before he has the chance to do more Mira's lips are claiming his in the sort of searing kiss that fills sordid romance novels and he is groaning deeply at the sweet taste of her in his mouth. He's frustrated by the leather keeping him from feeling more of her skin, but it's nothing compared to the next disappointment.

_"Hrongar? One of the guards said you were entertaining a guest of the Jarl, are you in here?"_ Came the accented voice of the Imperial man, Proventus. The steward had barged into Hrongar's room without so much as a knock and was mortified at the sight of the warrior pulling himself very reluctantly from the lips of an amused elf. Hrongar was far less pleased with the situation, if the stormy expression on his face was anything to go by. Proventus gulped loudly as the muscular Nord gently pulled Mira's legs from around his hips and turned toward his unwanted visitor.

_"Why in Oblivion are you just walking into my room?! Get out so I can co back to 'entertaining' the guest. I'll send her downstairs when we are finished."_ His tone allowed for no argument and Proventus nodded and promptly fled as if he was being chased by daedra. Peals of feminine laughter followed him down the stairs and Balgruuf gave him the strangest look as he stopped by the throne, panting and looking incredibly flustered. When asked what happened the Imperial ran his hands over his robes to smooth them and muttered,

_"Your brother and the guest are... Otherwise engaged."_ The Jarl could see embarrassment radiating from his steward and understood the situation immediately. So his brother was upstairs with some undoubtedly charming young woman who he was keeping busy while the Jarl was attending to his hold. If that was the case he wouldn't expect to see his guest for some time.... It wasn't as if he had nothing else to do. There was always something needing his attention, so he could occupy himself until the woman came down. Back upstairs Mira was soothing Hrongar's riled temper with kisses along his jaw and kneading fingers at his shoulders. It was working wonders getting him to relax again and his hands fell back to her hips as he sighed.

_"Now... Why don't you go lock that door and then unsheathe your 'sword' for me?"_ Mira put her hands on the table behind her and leaned back to put herself on display, swinging her feet casually. Hrongar pulled back and looked down at her with a big smirk. He had almost thought Proventus' intrusion would scare the woman away, or at least kill the mood. But here she was offering herself to him again. He turned and quickly strode over to the door, locking it with more force than necessary and dropping pieces of armor without a care as he walked back. Mira didn't get much of a chance to look before he was tugging her leather armor off her body eagerly.

_"Ooo, so aggressive... I love it!"_ She moved to assist him when he growled in frustration at not being able to find the hidden clasps at her sides. As soon as the closures were undone he was pulling the armor over her head and groaning at the soft form fitted shirt she wore beneath it. Mostly because it allowed him to see how tiny her waist was and the full shape of her breasts straining against the fabric, but also because it was another barrier between them. The little woman slowly but firmly pushed him back with a surprising amount of strength and he had no choice but to obey the silent command. When he did she smiled and hopped off his table to strut toward the bed stripping and dropping clothing along her path until she reached the edge of it and crawled in. She beckoned him over with one hand while the other played over the curves of her bare neck and chest letting out soft sighs.

_"Talos preserve me, I'm so glad my brother was busy when I showed up, you little minx!"_ The warrior moved quickly toward her, only to pause in confusion when she tutted softly.

_"Now now, Hrongar... Slow down and give a lady a show? It's important to study a new weapon to use it... Properly."_ When he heard that, Hrongar couldn't help but chuckle. It was only fair to let her get a good look. So he slowed down and began unlacing his straining leather breeches while she watched with amused vibrant green eyes. He pushed the garment down off his hips slowly and grinned when she bit her lip at the sight her revealed. There was a reason she loved bedding big, rough, Nord warrior types and there it was. A cock that certainly lived up to his "human weapon" comments. He was only too eager to comply with her commanding beckon, especially when her tongue began playing eagerly over his length as soon as he was close enough. Soft hands trailed up his thighs and settled on his hips to steady herself as she sank down on his length.

_"Ooohhhh fuck..."_ Hrongar gasped as she took all of him in one smooth motion. His hands came up to tangle in her hair and guide her slowly up and down. Mira hummed happily and let him set the pace, alternating between sucking gently and flicking her tongue in swirling patterns. _"Damn that's good."_ He shivered hard when her nails grazed down toward his inner thigh and back up to play with his balls. With great reluctance he pulled her back after just a couple of minutes, this woman was just too good with her mouth. Hrongar wanted to return the favor _before_ he got off, not after. Mira leaned back into the bed at his urging and sighed happily as she splayed out on the blankets, stretching like a cat. The Nord loomed over his tiny elven lover and kissed her again, running his hand down her body to massage her breasts and tweak her nipples into pebbled peaks. Soft whimpers escaped into his mouth when his free hand moved to press between her thighs, finding her wet and wanting already. He pulled back with a smug smirk,

_"This eager just from getting your mouth on me? You really are a little minx..."_ Before she even had a chance to open her mouth Hrongar pressed a finger slowly into her and cut off a few choice words in response to his attitude. Mira decided it wasn't worth the effort. He made up for it with teeth and tongue on her nipples in the next moment anyway. She arched into his mouth and raked her nails over his short cropped hair with a gasp as the hand between her legs parted her folds to find her clit and rub firmly. Electric tingles spread from her center in waves and he groaned with self satisfaction as she trembled under his touch. Pleasure was building quickly with the feeling of his sword roughened hands against her skin. What pushed her over the edge was another two fingers pressed into her and his tongue sliding along her sensitive ear. Mira's moans grew louder and she threw her head back, then shrieked as he sat up and pressed slowly into her before she even came down from the high.

_"Ah gods, Hrongar!"_ Her hands clenched into the sheets at her sides and her lashes fluttered wildly. The Nord pulled her legs up around his hips and set a slow rhythm to let her adjust. Both of them sighed as he sank all the way in and pressed her into the mattress under his bulk. When Mira could properly think she pushed back against him with surprising strength and rolled her hips at a pace that matched his and made him gasp. _"Give me more, please!"_ The small Bosmer used the space she gained shoving back against his chest to lift her legs up toward his shoulders. Hrongar groaned deeply and sped up gradually, pressing deeper and deeper. 

_"Where- ugh... where did you learn to bend like that? Fuck..."_ He wrapped his hands around her thighs and thrust into her harder. Mira once again didn't bother responding to his question, not that he really meant to get an answer. _"Damn that's good."_ Hrongar shifted closer, practically folding her in half with his hands hooked under her knees. Both lovers were gasping and moaning with ever increasing pleasure. When she reached up and pulled him down for a desperate kiss Hrongar couldn't resist giving her exactly what she wanted, although he marveled at how she could be flexible enough to reach him in that position and still move with him. The thought didn't last long as he felt her thighs begin trembling against his stomach again though, so he slipped a hand back down to her pussy and rubbed quick circles over her clit. A few more deep thrusts and firm rubs and she was coming around him, and bringing him over the edge with her. Holding his weight up with one arm Hrongar kissed her slowly through both of their climaxes until she pulled back with a breathless pant and a smile. Her first words made him laugh just as airily as her.

_"I suppose I could have mentioned I was an acrobat when we were talking earlier, but that would have ruined the surprise. In any case, you most certainly have a very impressive sword."_ The entire congregation downstairs heard them laughing when they caught their breath enough to do so. Mira lounged beside him in the bed for another few minutes before sighing with resignation and rolling to her feet, _"Well my dear warrior, duty calls. I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again!"_ And with that she dressed efficiently, tossed a casual wave over her shoulder and strode out the door. Hrongar watched her go with a grin and then flopped back into his bed with a smile. He'd have to return to the hall to help his brother eventually, but for now he was just going to relax. 


End file.
